IBMeUBUWeB1NChrist

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”― Theodore Roosevelt

Albert Einstein: 'We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.'

OFTEN PEOPLE AND SYSTEMS WITH THE MOST POWER OFFER THE LEAST GRACE / POWER CORRUPTS / ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY

During the days of George Washington, the medical model was highly respected, yet they believed the answer to curing the flu, pneumonia and most other illnesses was bleeding the patient because they believed it to be removing the poisons in their blood. The medical model has come a long way since then but not when it comes to the mind.

The Problem with Mental Health today is that the medical model is too dominant and identifies and digs into personal problem(s), but rarely resolves them. There are few instances where it focuses on, or offers the solution(s). It is touted as The Answer, and The Destination instead of temporary triage emergency care. There are some exceptions but few and far between. The medical model of mental health which tends to pathologize everything is outdated. It is reductionist.

The mind is much more than the physical organ and cannot be treated like a broken leg. It is far more complex. Modern science has identified 11 dimensions within the mind. In addition, the insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies very survival and profit margins are based on putting bandaids on the problem but never curing it (that would negate their need for existence). Please realize that maintaining the status quo is in their best interest.

The medical model / evidence based system treats the symptoms but doesn’t get to the underlying root of the problem. Medicine instead of lifestyle change ends up replacing a person’s maladaptive coping patterns used to self soothe… But it has negative side effects and increased tolerance until what once was considered the remedy becomes the malady. In the end, the medical model defines people by their illnesses and becomes their new drug dealer falsely promising a quick fix.

THE SYSTEM IS SICK: JUST AS ONLY SHEEP CAN REPRODUCE SHEEP, THE MEDICAL MODEL ONLY REPRODUCES PATHOLOGY AND DIS-EASE.

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace,” is a quote attributed and ascribed to the well-known artist Jimi Hendrix

… but Jesus walked it out… action speaks louder than words.

“Insanity Is Doing the Same Thing Over and Over Again and Expecting Different Results” - Albert Einstein

JESUS IS ABOUT RELATIONSHIP NOT RELIGION

We help you achieve wholeness through the power of the Holy Spirit and one lifestyle change at a time. 

5 second delay before song begins

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT LIFE WOULD BE LIKE IF MAN HAD NEVER SINNED?  THERE WOULD BE NO FEAR AND NO EVIL . . . LOVE AND KINDNESS WOULD PREVAIL THROUGH OUT THE WORLD. ALL OUR ENERGIES PRESENTLY SPENT ON FIGHT OR FLIGHT, SELF PRESERVATION, AND COPING AND DEFENSE MECHANISMS COULD BE REDIRECTED TOWARDS MORE CREATIVE, EDIFYING AND LIFE AFFIRMING ENDEAVORS.

Just think… if Adam did not choose to disobey God and follow Eve in the search for power, then true unconditional love would have been our foundation and guide throughout our lives from childhood on. However, instead - misuse of power/control and conditional love have ravaged our mind, emotions, bodies, behaviors, and relationships. Fear and fight or flight is our core defense mechanism. We wouldn’t have had to spend energy on our defenses because God and our relationship with Him would have protected us (if there would even have been a need). We could be co-creators of the good and beautiful… fruits that nourish and a garden that supplies all our needs (metaphorically and literally). We would not have experienced abandonment, betrayal, trauma, abuse, neglect, or lies. Galatians 5:14-21

So it only makes sense that if the lack of Love is the root problem then it seems sensible that Love is the answer… His name is Jesus - John 14:6/1st John 4:1-21

Romans 5:5 / Galatians 4:6-7 / Amos 3:3 / Proverbs 4:23 / Acts 17:28 / Galatians 5:22-25

Like Plato’s allegory of the Cave… our perception and comprehension has been shaped by what we have been taught by our childhood family of origin. Our family taught us rules (family system of being) to live by to be harmonious within that family system. Most often, we are unconsciously assigned roles to be compatible within that system and/or to become whatever the person of authority and resources at the center of that system wanted - but never became, and/or a projection of those things they hated about themselves that were projected onto you. Those who ran the family system around everyone else revolved and depended on were just a progression of the roles they had unconsciously accepted from their previous family systems, and were either not strong enough or unable to resolve or escape/overcome for whatever reason - these are multigenerational transmissions of coping patterns which Jung called the collective conscious. So not only do we inherit things genetically but also environmentally - especially patterns of living and problem solving, including but not limited to our core beliefs and world view, which will become maladaptive over time unless and until we differentiate and/or individuate. These are the series of archetypes which Jung identified as a process of growth we each must encounter and overcome to mature and realize our true self. Those patterns of coping we learned as children will increasingly breakdown and become less effective until eventually we are in crisis and will have to make a lifestyle change and course correct our internal core beliefs that unconsiously guide us.

“YOU SHALL SURELY DIE…” God: Genesis 2:17; 1st John 1:5-10; Matthew 16:24–25; Mark 8:34–35; Luke 14:26-27; John 3:3-7; Matthew 10:34-39 (2 Corinthians 5:16-21)

https://www.gotquestions.org/dying-to-self.html

https://www.gotquestions.org/hate-father-mother.html

"People only perceive at their level of comprehension" meaning that individuals can only truly understand and interpret information based on their existing knowledge and understanding. Essentially, they unconsciously filter out anything that falls outside their current cognitive abilities or framework. This truth highlights the idea that perception is subjective and limited by one's personal level of comprehension and experience. Comprehension is built step by step, precept upon precept, each building upon the one which preceded it. It takes learning the fundamentals first and then progressively digging deeper beyond the shallower levels to understand the hidden complexities that aren’t apparent on the surface” 

Change is constant. Everyone has the choice to be proactive or reactive to that change. People who deny that change is constant and try to maintain the status quo will face negative consequences for their (non)choice. Change will continue to happen, but they will not be prepared for it. Also, people who suffer trauma(s) (big T’s or little t’s) in their life will only develop emotionally roughly two years beyond the time that the traumatic event occurred. Their arrested emotional development will cause them to have fewer coping skills to deal with life’s problems unless they address and overcome those traumatic effects, and those that they do have will become maladaptive over time.

Most of these traumatic hurts are impossible to overcome alone because most were not created alone; they are relational hurts, and/or betrayal of trust experienced in a social context and therefore can only be healed through relationship(s). Part of that healing matrix is to beome re-empowered. In doing so, the counselor recognizes the client as a collaborative partner in their journey toward better health and does not impose the counselor’s values or choices on the client, but instead honors their decisions whether the counselor agrees with it or not. Spiritually, the counselor does not use his faith to coerce or “hit the client over the head with the Bible” – or to force “Religion: down their throats - but instead uses his faith and relationship with God to be more accepting, non-judgmental, compassionate, genuine and empathetic. No method or theory of counseling has been shown to be significantly better than another. However, the Bible and God (Trinity) is TRUTH, and everything else is a lesser “taste just like chicken” that is either only partial or a facsimile of the real thing. What research has discovered is that the relationship between the therapist and client is what matters most in determining whether the client will benefit from therapy, and is as if not more so important than any methodology utilized.

A Safe Place for Hope and Healing

Empathetic and Non-Pathologizing Counseling

THE PERFECT PLACE FOR IMPERFECT PEOPLE

COMFORT ZONE: GET OUT OF THE BOX

“There is no safe investment - to love at all is to become vulnerable. Love anything, and your Heart will certainly be wrong. . . and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact . . . You must give your Heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it up carefully round with hobbies ... and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements; Lock it safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness . . . But in that casket - safe, dark and motionless, airless . . . It will change. It will not be broken - It will become unbreakable, Impenetrable, and irredeemable the alternative to tragedy, is Damnation. The Only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all of the dangers, woes, and perturbations of Love is Hell." ~ St. Augustine as quoted by C.S. Lewis ~

ARE YOU BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE?

WE ARE MENDING & EQUIPPING WILLING HEARTS

A BETTER LIFE STARTS RIGHT HERE…RIGHT NOW

UP CLOSE & PERSONAL COLLABORATIVE COUNSELING

Traveling Companions / Walking with God

John 14:6 / Acts 17:28 / Micah 6:8 / 1st John 1:5-7 / Amos 3:3

The roads one travels in life is marked by specific points, the significance of which occasions a certain taking stock of and personal reflection about one’s journey.  As with any journey, traveling companions determine to one extent or another how one experiences the journey and sometimes even the direction of the journey. When one is joined by enjoyable companions, even an unforeseen delay is treated with joy as it provides additional time to be in their company. Conversely, other companions can make a potentially pleasurable and productive trip seems tedious and painful. When making a long journey with others, one has the opportunity not only to learn about one’s companions but also to learn much about oneself. The longer I live the more I realize how intertwined my own existence (and thought) is with my companions and how difficult it is to disentangle my own ideas and discoveries from those whom I travel. 1st John 1:5-7 / By Dr. John Christopher Thomas

If you truly want healthy change, you must walk/with THE SPIRIT, not just any spiritual thing you believe in - Acts 17:28, Micah 6:8, 1st John 1:5-10, 1 John 4:5-10

LIVE INTENTIONALLY: 1st JOHN 4:4 - He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world… “if anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my father will love him, and we will come to make our home with/in him,: - Jesus / (John 14: Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” - Jesus / “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you”. - Jesus / Empowered by the Holy Spirit / Internal Locus of Control. / Transform - Romans 12:2 - Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

Loving people for who they are, where they are, without judgment, condemnation, or expectations.

IBMeUBUWeB1NChrist

“We are the bridge between where you are and where you want to be.”

Why have you not been able to make the changes you want by yourself?

Be honest - What is stopping you from achieving the results you are seeking?

Everyone needs help sometimes. If you were able to do it by yourself you would have by now and wouldn’t be reading this. Our goal is to come along side of you and help empower you. People come to us with their answers and wonder why life isn’t working for them; that is… they are living out of their unconsciously learned childhood patterns that provided them safety and comfort. Those patterns are no longer working because people, the world and contexts are much more complex now than when they were younger.

I don’t know your perspective on this but as a counselor I have found that the more we make things taboo the more our shadow sides wants it. Example: I tell you don’t think of chocolate cake, then automatically my mind sees a picture of chocolate cake and sets my appetite, taste buds, etc. and everything else to crave it. So I am creating a conflict within myself over the issue causing dissonance and humans can’t stand dissonance long before they give in or have to find a way to resolve the issue… usually by eating chocolate cake (metaphor). Then we label ourselves as bad for giving in and then we need to self medicate more to feel better about ourselves which leads right back to (you guessed it) chocolate cake (Replace chocolate cake with what ever your issue is).

“Neuroscience shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going inside ourselves.”

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

—Bessel A. van der Kolk,

THIS IS YOUR LIFE - IS IT EVERYTHING YOU HOPED IT WOULD BE?

Are You Ready to Change Your Life? 

We understand what it is like to feel as though you want to make a change in your life but may not have the tools. Life often looks so very different than we hoped or expected. Some events may simply catch us off guard for a moment, but others shatter us completely. We feel disappointed and disillusioned, and we sometimes secretly start to wonder about the reality of God’s goodness. Many times the things we experience in our day to day lives cause us to question, worry, disengage and isolate or cope in unhelpful ways mistrusting getting close to anyone again. Do you ever find yourself wishing someone was there to hear what life has thrown your way? We can tackle whatever struggles that has created a barrier in your life. I’d love to join you in this process of finding a way around, over, under, or through those barrier(s) to help you develop the skills necessary to break negative behavior patterns and live a healthier, more authentic life.

WHAT IS IT MEAN TO BE FULLY HUMAN?

SPIRITUAL MENTAL EMOTIONAL PHYSICAL BEHAVIORAL RELATIONAL CONTEXTUAL

It takes TRUTH, HEALTH, BALANCE, & WELLBEING in every area or domain (above) to be a healthy and whole human being. To whatever extent we are deficient in one area it will affect the others detrimentally, and those other areas will affect all other domains reciprocally, and vice versa.

Transformational & Relational Health

I believe that to be fully human means to consist of at least 7 fundamental domains that interact sequentially and affect each other reciprocally: Spiritual - Mental - Emotional - Physical - Behavioral - Relational - Contextual. To the degree that these are congruent is the degree of harmony, peace, health, and wellbeing that a person will experience; and to the degree that a person lacks Congruence; truth; soundness; wholeness; and maturity in one or more of these areas it will negatively affect the others. Therefore as you explore this website you will see these intrinsic aspects interwoven throughout.

1st John 4:1-21

LIVE LIFE LESS OUT OF HABIT AND MORE OUT OF INTENT.

LIVING INTENTIONALLY KEEPS YOU IN THE PRESENT MOMENT

No Therapy, Brainspotting, or Hypnotherapy will work or be successful unless the client wants it to be. As much as they are willing to join in the journey and own their participation in the process is the same degree to which they will experience change and a better life. Any coercion or pressure by the therapist will only create resistance, so there must be a strong therapeutic bond of trust and a safe, nonjudgmental environment in which the client can become vulnerable, let down their defenses, and experience something different than what they have always experienced, a new and better way.

MY TIME IS THE MOST VALUABLE THING I HAVE TO OFFER ANYONE. IT IS IRREPLACEABLE! I DO NOT TAKE IT FOR GRANTED AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU. I HAVE SPENT MANY YEARS BEING EDUCATED & MASTERING MY CRAFT, NOT TO MENTION THE THOUSANDS OF $$$ I’VE INVESTED TO HONE MY EXPERTISE. BUT ALL OF THAT PALES AND IS SECONDARY TO MY TIME AND ATTENTION AND HOW I CHOOSE TO SPEND IT. HOW ABOUT YOU…? PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! Do not believe that you can come to counseling for one hour a week or every two weeks… (while having 167 hours a week outside of the session for you to enact and practice faithfully those things you learned in session). If you do not consistently work on change outside of the session you will accomplish nothing and your lifestyle will NOT change. You will simply be deceiving yourself and wasting my time (and your $). I have limited years remaining and want to invest my time and talents in those who do not take it for granted. As you review this website you will discover I am a very unconventional kind of counselor. If you want traditional counseling please go to one of the many cookie-cutter counselors offered in your area. I cannot want a better/healthier life for you than you do.

What Can I Expect?

You can expect therapy in a safe, non-judgmental, caring, and comfortable environment that promotes mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. You will receive guidance, support, and skill-building to help you through the stress and hopelessness of life’s hard times. My therapy orientation is eclectic and is a customized combination of therapies and techniques depending on the client. Therapy sessions are on a weekly basis. You will be supported and respected. I collaborate with my clients to address the unhealthy patterns, communication problems, and difficulties in their lives. YOU are the expert on the content of your life. I am the facilitator in the process. Healing takes place only within the context of relationships; it cannot occur in isolation, because the hurt wasn't created in isolation

INDIVIDUALS

We enjoy working with individuals with an array of life challenges, and often treat individuals experiencing anxiety, OCD, aspergers, depression, grief and loss, trauma and PTSD, life transitions, anger management, coping skills, communication skills, addiction and dual diagnoses.

A SAFE PLACE TO BE REAL

We welcome all comers alike without judgment or imposition of our values or beliefs.

Significant people in your life are constantly changing and so are you. Therefore learn to love the person you/they are now and respect / leave room for the one you/they are becoming - do not fixate on the person you/they used to be. “You don’t love one person; you love three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and who they are becoming as a result of being in relationship with you.” 2nd Corinthians 5:16-17 - Through the Love of Christ (TLC)

“We look forward to the time when the Power of Love is greater than the Love of Power. Then will our relationships and the world know the blessings of peace.” - JESUS - Actions speak louder than words.

Reiterated by Jimi Hendrix, William E. Gladstone

How can two people walk together unless they are in agreement

~ AMOS 3:3 ~

We Marvel At The Silence that Separates The Living From The Dead Yet More Apart Are They Who All Life Long Live Side By Side but Never Heart To Heart

Intimate relationships are very rewarding but hard to do right: We aim to cultivate an environment where all can feel safe, valued, cared for, and given the opportunity to form meaningful connections with each other. The Relationship is our client, and the focus is on what is broken and what can done about it. We do not judge, blame or assign guilt. It takes two to make a relationship. Relationships are sacred, and something to be honored and developed while respecting each and everyone's individual differences.

COUNSELING SERVICES

To play all youtube videos press the white arrow in the middle & then go to the bottom left corner & press the start arrow/button

• Relationship Issues: Enrichment, Prevention, Intervention, and Crisis

• Depression, anxiety, loss of energy, excessive worry

• Grief and Loss (Human Nature abhors a Vacuum)

• Emotional Abuse. (Video)

• Self-Esteem / Shame

• Addictions 

• Abandonment Issues

• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD and/or CPTSD (chronic)

• Anger +

• Anxiety +

• Forgiveness +

• Tele-Health

• Sleep Deprivation

• Gender Dysphoria

• Dissociative Disorders

• Borderline Personality Disorder

• Bipolar I & II Disorder

• Schizoaffective Disorder

• Trauma (Trauma is not what happens to you, it’s what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you)

• Family Systems, communication, and dynamics

• Premarital, marital, blended families/step-parenting, divorce

• Military issues - deployment related, familial separation, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), domestic violence, suicidal ideations, transitioning back into community

• This practice does not participate in legal proceedings to determine custody.  

The wounds that we have experienced are often the doorways into the very best and most beautiful part of us. Love matters, either we rest within its presence or suffer because of its absence. There is nothing more difficult than grieving the loss of a loved one (especially one who is still alive).“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”  –Anne Lamott

The Hole in (W)holistic Health Care

       Symptoms are red flags to deeper core issues. If a counselor only treats the surface symptoms the deeper issues remain to manifest again later, maybe even in a different or worse way.

I advocate attending to the present suffering but also to the healing of the whole person - body, mind, and spirit rather than solely focusing on the treatment of the symptoms of a disease, disorder, or condition. Whole health healing endeavors to create a harmonious balance among the body, mind and spirit of each person and includes healing of the whole person, including physical, psychological, social, emotional and spiritual care. Avoidance of spiritual care that attends to the spiritual needs of a person by anyone in the helping field creates “a hole” in (w)holistic care. 

___________________________________________________________

Spirituality is the essence of life. Spirituality is the nature that animates and exists within each person, while religion is the practice of beliefs and ritual observance of faith. Spirituality is active and expressive. It permeates our life through our relationship with the Holy Spirit and infuses us with unfolding meaning for being, awareness of who we are, our purpose in being, and our inner resources. It shapes - and is shaped by - our life journey with Christ Jesus (Micah 6:8, 1st John 1:5-10, & Amos 3:3). Spirituality informs the ways we live and experience life, the ways we encounter mystery, and the ways we relate and respond to all aspects of life. Inherent to being human, spirituality is expressed and experienced through living with intimacy and connectedness to God, the self, others, and nature.

    Spiritual / Mental / Emotional / Psychological /  Physical /Behavioral / Relational / Contextual      

New Way of Being (John 14:6)

A person may plan their way, but the LORD directs their steps - Proverbs 19:6

Change is accomplished by taking that first step, (First Oder change, learning better coping skills) through small micro-changes - you can experience transformation (Second Order Change - paradigm change) by embracing uncertainty and stepping out to a place you’ve never been before!

All of the core areas of what make you human are inextricably connected with each other so what affects one influences them all. So if you have a problem in one area it will cause problems in all of the others to a greater or lesser extent. The Spiritual heart is your foundation from which all else flows right or wrong, to the degree things are off in that dimension everything else will also be skewed accordingly. Proverbs 4:23 / Jeremiah 29:11-13/ Matthew 6:21 (33) / James 1:17 & 4:8 / Romans 5:5 / Galatians 4:6-7

Homeostasis

Getting out of our comfort zone - hurting too much to stay the same

“Becoming Whole”

“Breaking the Inertia”

“Finding Yourself”

“Crabs in a Bucket”

“Prince Charming”

“Multi-generational Family Patterns”

Narcissism (Toxicity)

“Sooner or later she had to give up the hope for a better past”.

Irvin D. Yalom, Staring at the Sun

To play all youtube videos press the white arrow in the middle & then go to the bottom left corner & press the start arrow/button

Whomever has been forgiven much loves much - Luke 7:47

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us " Ralph Waldo Emerson.

(Jesus - John 14-17); Luke 17:21 NKJV; Romans 5:5; Galatians 4:6-7.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline / 1-800-273-8255 / Hours: Available 24 hours.

Official Website