Relationship Wellness
SEXUALITY - SENSUALITY - INTIMACY - ROMANTIC COMPATIBILITY
What is stopping you from achieving the results you want (by yourself)?
No Therapy, Brainspotting, or Hypnotherapy will work or be successful unless the client wants it to be. As much as they are willing to join in the journey and own their participation in the process is the same degree to which they will experience change and a better life. Any coercion or pressure by the therapist will only create resistance, so there must be a strong therapeutic bond of trust and a safe, nonjudgmental environment in which the client can become vulnerable, let down their defenses, and experience something different than what they have always experienced, a new and better way.
PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! Do not believe that you can come to counseling for one hour a week or every two weeks… (while having 167 hours a week outside of the session for you to enact and practice faithfully those things you learned in session). If you do not consistently work on change outside of the session you will accomplish nothing and your lifestyle will NOT change. You will simply be deceiving yourself and wasting my time (and your $). I have limited years remaining and want to invest my time and talents in those who do not take it for granted. If you want traditional counseling please go to one of the many cookie-cutter counselors offered in your area. I cannot want a better/healthier life for you than you do.
To play all youtube videos press the white arrow in the middle & then go to the bottom left corner & press the start arrow/button
LOVE IS NOT BASED ON SEX. LOVE IS BASED ON TRUST, RESPECT, HONOR AND HONESTY
GOOD OR BAD SEX IS JUST A BAROMETER OF THE QUALITY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
YEARNINGS
“ She hungered for his fingers to trace her curves, his hands to caress her skin, his mouth to make her moan. Equally, she ached for his mind to entice her, his soul to allure her and his heart to seduce her. She desired the friendship on fire but wanted it to only burn for her with no competition. She wanted to build something safe, secure, and still freeing, to be able to be serious or somber in the same conversation with ease. She wished to bathe together in the tantric desires of heart, mind, soul, and body for eternity.
But she was afraid of how much she cared for him. She wanted the butterflies to die instead of fluttering inside when she thought of him and to fall out of any love she had hoped for from him. The strings from friendship controlling the puppet of connection had become too hard for her to maneuver. One moment she felt like he saw her and loved who she is, and in the next she felt like he only saw her body to be given to him for pleasure. She longed for sole custody of intellect, heart, soul, dreams, and ambitions shared or exchanged. She was trying to fight for the opportunity to journey toward that custody.
It was never ending and a never going to win desire. The truth was that she felt disposable and interchangeable to him. His pleasure came from giving a cheap imitation of genuine intimacy, and he was satisfied with that. His carnal needs were what mattered to him. Her soulful needs were not ever going to be noticed by him let alone acknowledged to be explored. Her fight needed to be in accepting this. To let the butterflies die. To fall out of all feelings she had for him to have the strength to hold onto hope. Hope for all that is authentic, honest, loyal, and genuine. For the man who equally desired, ached for, longed for, and wanted to know all of …her.”
Love me from the inside out, know my deepest secrets, listen to the voices in my head, feel the beating of my heart, then show how you love me. I want one who can touch my soul, who can bring pleasure in a sigh, one who hears my hopes, who can see the vision of my dreams, one who wants to live them with me, touch me in places long forgotten, deep down into the darkness, shine a light and find me, the one I never show anyone, that is the level of intimacy I seek...
DISCLAIMER: I do not subscribe to Teal Swan’s ideology, or most of her new age beliefs or claims - However any video posted herein has been viewed by me and I have found these contents credible for the most part.
The most beautiful curve of a woman's body … is her smile!
“Then may your awakening breath blow upon my life until I am fully yours. Breathe upon me with your Spirit wind. Stir up the sweet spice of your life within me. Spare nothing as you make me your fruitful garden. Hold nothing back until I release your fragrance. Come walk with me as you walked in your paradise garden. Come taste the fruits of your life in me. I have come to you, my darling, for you are my paradise garden! Come walk with me until I am fully yours. Come taste the fruits of your life in me.” - Song of Songs 4:16 TPT
A fulfilling sex life is healthy and natural. Physical and emotional intimacy are essential parts of your well-being. When sexual dysfunction occurs, having that fulfilling sex life can be difficult. Sex therapy may be able to help you reframe your sexual challenges and increase your sexual satisfaction.
IF YOU LOVE HER, DON’T DESTROY HER. LOVE HER FOR HER COMPLETE SELF. ALLOW HER TO BE HERSELF, WILD AND BEAUTIFUL. REMEMBER HOW YOU TREAT HER AFFECTS HOW SHE SEES HERSELF. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO MAKE ANOTHER CONFORM TO THE IMAGE OF WHO THEY THINK OR EXPECT THE OTHER SHOULD BE. THAT INVALIDATES THEIR PERSONHOOD AND AUTONOMY. THAT IS PLAYING GOD. YOU ARE NOT GOD.
KNOW ME
I seek touch, but no touch feels right - “No man knows what I need”
No one succeeds in satisfying me - I feel so lonely and frustrated
I try again and again - Craving to have you close to me…
Deep inside me, so you might know me more intimately
To have you completely know who I am and what I need
To be Known fully
Romans 5:5 / Galatians 4:6-7
Song of Songs 4:16
Come taste the fruits of your garden and release your love in me.
I have come to you, I am fully yours. Come taste the fruits of your life in me.
The problem is some females if not most are impressed with the Mask, the outward appearance and chooses thereby, when what they really want and crave is to be known deeply. That person who meets that criteria either has to be just as wounded and therefore causes a trauma (toxic) bond, or someone who has done their own deep healing so they can meet you where you are at in your deepest most intimate self (real you). “Humans look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” - 1st Samuel 16:7
In her book, No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction, Marnie Ferree wrote, “It’s not about sex at all, but about the desperate search for love and touch and affirmation and acceptance. Those are descriptions of intimacy.
God created us for intimate connection with Him, with others, and with ourselves. When those connections are broken or absent, women desperately seek a false substitute. Sex or porn is at best a stand-in or poor substitute for the real thing.”
This applies and holds true in Relationships also
I HAVE FOUND THE ONE WHO MY SOUL LOVES -
SONG OF SONGS 3:4
A selection from the erotica of the Penetrating Scripture verses of the Bible, with most being from the Song of Songs. In the Bible and in the Hebrew Language "To Know" meant to know Intimately, physically, emotionally, relationally as between a Bride and her Groom.
Proverbs 7:13-18 - I looked for you and have found you! I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. Come, let’s drink deeply of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love! (NIV)
Her Garden (Song Of Songs 4:16) - Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits. (NIV)
Some For Him, Some For Her (Song Of Songs 2:3-4)
Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. Let him lead me to the banquet hall, and let his banner over me be love. (NIV)
“Most of the Song of Songs is a poem going back and forth between two lovers: a man and woman. In the previous entry, we saw that the woman wants the man to taste her fruit, so to speak. And then in this set of verses, it sounds like she is hoping to return the favor. When you started this list, you were skeptical, weren’t you? And now we’re talking about people going down on each other in the Bible. Is that what you were expecting?
Song Of Songs 4:10-12 - How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume more than any spice! (NIV) - Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride; milk and honey are under your tongue. The fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon. (NIV)
Song of Songs 7:9-10 - Your mouth is like fine wine flowing smoothly for my love, gliding past my lips and teeth! I belong to my love, and his desire is for me.
Song of Songs 8:10 - I am a wall, and my breasts are like towers. Thus I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment. ”
MORE SEX
A woman’s sexual response cycle is strongly influenced by her mental health and by the quality of her relationship with her partner. Initial desire typically lessens with age but increases with a new partner at any age. Women like sex as much as any man, and sometimes even more so depending on the female, but all females crave emotional intimacy even more.
Men are like light switches and physically if well can be ready for sex almost spontaneously. Men are very visual and enjoy women who also initiate sex and romance as well as like to be conquered or play out fantasies and role play. If both partners are equal consenting adults whatever they mutually agree on between them is permitted.
Some females like light bondage and dominance (not abuse) like being tied up, hand cuffs, hair pulling, butt slapping, and etc. as long as she feels safe mind, body, emotions and spirit. She has the freedom to be all she is - wild and untamed - if the male is confident and secure, and not intimidated by her intelligence, looks, spirit, or spontaneity and adventure.
The biggest complaint made by female’s during counseling sessions is that their partner is not emotionally present, or there is not enough romance and safety in the relationship. Women’s body’s, mind, emotions and spirit are more like a crockpot. They are slow to warm and physically it can take as much as four hours of romance and foreplay (before ever going into the bedroom or surrendering her whole self) for a female’s body to reroute her blood floor into clitoris region for orgasm. Of course there are exceptions to every rule.
Men and women initiate or agree to sexual activity for many reasons, including sharing sexual excitement and physical pleasure and experiencing affection, love, romance, or intimacy. However, women are more likely to report emotional motivations such as:
To experience and encourage emotional intimacy
To increase their sense of well-being
To confirm their desirability
To please or placate a partner
Women access sexual desire (responsive desire) once sexual stimulation triggers excitement and pleasure (subjective arousal) and genital congestion (physical genital arousal). Desire for sexual satisfaction, which may or may not include one or multiple orgasms, builds as sexual activity and intimacy continue, and a physically and emotionally rewarding experience fulfills and reinforces the woman’s original motivations.
Physiology of the female sexual response is incompletely understood but involves hormonal and central nervous system (CNS) factors.
Estrogens influence sexual response. It is suspected but not proved that androgens are involved and act via androgen receptors and estrogen receptors (after intracellular conversion of testosterone to estradiol). Estrogen helps maintain genital tissue sensitivity, vaginal pH, normal microflora, elasticity, lubrication, urinary continence, and pelvic muscle tone.
After menopause, ovarian estrogen production ceases, while ovarian androgen production varies. However, adrenal production of prohormones (eg, dehydroepiandrosterone sulfate [DHEAS]) that are converted to both androgens and estrogens in peripheral cells decreases starting in a woman’s 30s. Ovarian production of prohormones also declines after menopause. Overall, levels of androgen tend to stop decreasing at about age 60. Whether the decrease in sex hormone production plays any role in diminishing sexual desire, interest, or subjective arousal is unclear.
The brain produces sex hormones (neurosteroids) from cholesterol, and production may increase after menopause. Whether this documented increase is universal, whether it facilitates arousal as peripheral production decreases, and whether it is affected by exogenous hormone administration are all unknown.
Motivation
Motivation is the wish to engage in sexual activity. There are many reasons for wanting sexual activity, including sexual interest or desire. Sexual interest or desire may be triggered by thoughts, words, sights, smells, or touch. Motivation may be obvious at the outset or may build once the woman is aroused.
Arousal
Brain areas involved in cognition, emotion, motivation, and organization of genital congestion are activated. Neurotransmitters acting on specific receptors are involved. Based on known actions of drugs and on animal studies, some neurotransmitters appear to be prosexual; they include dopamine, norepinephrine, and melanocortin. Serotonin is usually sexually inhibitory, as are prolactin and gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA).
Genital congestion
This reflexive autonomic response occurs within seconds of a sexual stimulus and causes genital engorgement and lubrication. The brain's appraisal of the stimulus as biologically sexual, not necessarily as erotic or subjectively arousing, triggers this response. Smooth muscle cells around blood spaces in the vulva, clitoris, and vaginal arterioles dilate, increasing blood flow (engorgement) and transudation of interstitial fluid across the vaginal epithelium (lubrication). Women are not always aware of congestion; genital tingling and throbbing are more typically reported by younger women. As women age, basal genital blood flow decreases, but genital congestion in response to sexual stimuli (eg, erotic videos) may not.
Orgasm
Peak excitement occurs; it is accompanied by contractions of pelvic muscles every 0.8 seconds and is followed by slow release of genital congestion. Thoracolumbar sympathetic outflow tracts appear to be involved, but orgasm is possible even after complete spinal cord transection (when a vibrator is used to stimulate the cervix). Prolactin, antidiuretic hormone (ADH), and oxytocin are released at orgasm and may contribute to the sense of well-being, relaxation, or fatigue that follows (resolution). However, many women experience a sense of well-being and relaxation without experiencing any definite orgasm.
Resolution
Resolution is a sense of well-being, widespread muscular relaxation, or fatigue that typically follows orgasm. However, resolution can occur slowly after highly arousing sexual activity without orgasm. Oxytocin fills both the female’s and male’s body in the resolution stage. It encourges deeper bonding and intimacy between the two. Many women can respond to additional stimulation almost immediately after resolution